i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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