Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
