He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
