im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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