I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
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