I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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