That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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