I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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