So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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