I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
