This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
