I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
