Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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