Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
