But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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