Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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