I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize