I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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