I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
