Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
