theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
