Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
