His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
