My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize