O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
