Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
