Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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