some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
