Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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