Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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