"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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