In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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