Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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