I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
