Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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