Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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