Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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