is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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