Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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