we have officially lost it.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
