Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
