then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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