help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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