How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
