She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
