i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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