you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
