saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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