she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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