She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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