just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
