All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
