Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
