so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
