every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize