the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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