I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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