Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Who died my cat blue again?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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