to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
