dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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