Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
