it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
