she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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